Mattanaw’s Short Stories

Mattanaw, Christopher Matthew Cavanaugh

Published October 30th 2019

Welcome to my short stories page.

This is where I will post ridiculous skits,


and a variety of other creative stories,

from horrors,

to stories with serious moral intent.

Terms and Conditions. Exclusively written, edited (when that happens), and maintained by Christopher Matthew Cavanaugh. All Rights Reserved.

Monday, October 28th, 2019

“Dr. Lunch”, Part One.

Full Audio


Mattanaw, as Dr. Lunch

Some Other Guy, as the Patient


[Enters the patient, who quietly waits in the examination room, after the nurse performs some initial checkup tasks. He is not in a hurry, but he is getting slightly irritated about the wait time.

Dr. Lunch then enters. He is apathetic, but makes the appearance of being interested in his new patient. He looks like he has someplace to go.

Lunch box. There is an old-school lunch box in the corner of the room, clearly in view.

It’s a classy antique lunch box.]


Dr. Lunch:

Well Hello there!

The nurse told me you were having some trouble with acid-reflux.

I’m sorry to hear about that.

We’ll get you fixed up.

I understand you are a new patient.


Yes, that’s correct.

Dr. Lunch:

Well, nice to meet you for the first time.

New patients are my favorite.


My name is “Dr. Lunch”.


“Dr. Lunch?”

[There is an awkward pause]

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…


[Patient is interrupted]

Dr. Lunch:

Oh, don’t even think of it.

It’s exactly like it sounds.


L. u. n. c. h.

Like the meal.

I LOVE my name.

It’s memorable.

You remember it already.



I think you’re right.

Dr. Lunch:

I am!


Well let’s get to it.

One thing.

It’s 11:40 already.


We’re almost out of time.



Out of time?

We just started.

Out of time for what?

Dr. Lunch:

Noon approaches,


I always have someplace I have to be

at noon.

I think you can understand that,




I mean, I’m serious about my acid-reflux,

and I have a lot of questions.

At noon I’m usually at work,

around that time,

and I do,

have something to do,


at noon.

Almost always at noon.

That’s why I chose this time.

I usually have a break,

around this time.

I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself…

[Does a partial face-palm]

Dr. Lunch

Me too, me too.

So I think we can agree,

we both have something to do,

at noon.


So here we go.

I promise we will get through


To be continued…

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